So, he says shifting to 'bad-self' is the goal, and the way that it done is by asking ourselves: what messages were left with me after this relationship ended that are causing me to think I am a 'bad-self?' Like, what story am I telling myself about who I am and what I was in that relationship, why it ended, etc. Basically, in the aftermath of cluster-b relationships, it is good to understand what happened and why, but obsessing over the 'bad-other', aka an ex with bpd, is a slippery slope to not paying attention to the inner pain we are experiencing.

The biggest perspective shift I've had reading the book (I'm about 160 pages in), is what MacKenzie describes as shifting focus from 'bad-other' to 'bad-self'. Through a practice of mindfulness, introspection, and exercises using specific tools, readers learn to identify the protective self they’ve developed – and uncover the core self, so that they can finally move on to live a full and authentic life–to once again feel light, free, and whole, and ready to love again.I am so glad this sub has Whole Again listed as one of the recommended books it's a genuinely great read with tons of insightful information about recovering from cluster-b relationships, among other equally great bits of wisdom like how our bodies physically hold on to stored trauma. But he’s also found that it is possible to work through these symptoms and find love on the other side, and this book shows how.

These range from feelings of numbness and emptiness to depression, perfectionism, substance abuse, and many more. Through his close work with–and deep connection to–thousands of survivors of abusive relationships Jackson discovered that most survivors have symptoms of trauma long after the relationship is over.

In Whole Again he guides readers on what to do next–how to fully heal from abuse in order to find love and acceptance for the self and others. His first book, Psychopath Free, explained how to identify and survive the immediate situation. Jackson MacKenzie has helped millions of people in their struggle to understand the experience of toxic relationships.

Jackson mackenzie whole again